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I’m appearing on Jeopardy!…today! Check out my growing series of posts reflecting on my experience.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

I wake to the sound of my alarm at 6 AM, acutely aware that I haven’t slept enough. I shower and put on the attire I’ve chosen for my national television debut: a light green dress shirt (sleeves rolled up) and black slacks. I walk out of my hotel room with a suitcase containing two changes of clothes (per the contestant coordinators’ instructions), head downstairs, and have breakfast at the hotel restaurant, suddenly unsure of mundane decisions like how much scrambled eggs I should eat. I see a group of people in the lobby who are clearly dressed for Jeopardy! and waiting for the courtesy shuttle to take them to the studio, but I pass them on my way out, since I’ve borrowed my mom’s car and will be driving myself.

Driving onto the Sony Pictures Studios lot makes me feel like a million bucks. No matter what happens, this will be a good day.

We all arrive and meet as a group just outside the parking garage. Glenn (whom I met at my audition) and Corina greet us, take roll, and lead us into the studio (after a quick stop at a metal detector). We’re immediately hustled into the green room.

“Green room” is one of those phrases that, if my experience is any indication, sounds far more glamorous than it is. The Jeopardy! green room is, frankly, drab and cramped, and far more gray than green. There are some old couches; a long conference table and chairs; a restroom; a doorway to a couple of brightly lit makeup stations; and a door with a star on it, conspicuously labeled JEOPARDY! RETURNING CHAMPION. A coffee table in the middle of the room has some donuts, fruit, and other snacks on it. We all file in and find seats.

I notice immediately that there are a lot of women in the room. Since we’ll be taping a full week of shows in a single day, there are something like twelve people in the room; only three are men. I also notice that I am most likely the youngest person here, which I expected and can only hope doesn’t prove to be a fatal weakness.

We spend the next ninety minutes or so completing our paperwork; coming up with the lame one-liners we’ll use in our Hometown Howdies; getting our makeup done (my magician was Lisa, who made the bags under my eyes disappear!); finalizing our personal anecdotes with Robert for the card that will be printed and given to Alex; and most importantly, getting an overview of all the nitty-gritty of the Jeopardy! gameplay experience from Maggie Speak, the indefatigable contestant producer who led my in-person audition.

Maggie animatedly explains what to do if your buzzer seems to malfunction (play through it and complain at the next break); if you think a ruling on an answer was incorrect (play through it and complain at the next break); if you think you see an error in scoring (…I think you’re getting the idea). She introduces us to our representative from Sullivan Compliance, the third-party auditing firm whose role is to ensure that the game is conducted fairly.

Maggie also gives tips and best practices on how to succeed in the game — things like, if time is running out in the round and you’re behind, you may want to consider going for higher dollar-value clues if you get control of the board, and you may want to hunt for Daily Doubles. She mentions that it tends to be easier to get in a rhythm in a category if you start at the top and work your way down from the easier to the more difficult clues, but she also points out that players do occasionally employ a strategy called the Forrest Bounce (named after the first author of Secrets of the Jeopardy! Champions), in which the player “bounces” from category to category to keep his opponents on their toes. “We think it’s really easiest if you just go down a category you choose,” she says, “but there’s always someone who decides not to.” Then she looks at me and says something along the lines of, “Prabhu has a very serious look on his face; maybe it’s him.” I laugh along with the rest of the room. Then Maggie says, “he’s laughing, but he’s not denying it!” I just met these people, and I’m already the gamesman in the room. Dammit.

The truth is, I do think I’m one of the more serious players in the room. Having prepared just enough not to feel hopeless, I feel like I’m here to compete, not just to have a great time and a fun story. Most of the other contestants seem much more relaxed than I feel. They also generally seem much more naturally outgoing than I am, which leads me to wonder whether personality might be even more of a factor in the show’s selection process than I’d originally thought.

After Maggie’s lesson is complete, and our faces are sufficiently redrawn with stage makeup, it’s finally time for what I’ve been waiting for all morning: the practice game.

We file quietly from the green room into the main studio, which I am seeing for the first time. Goddamn it looks cool. Of course, I have the cliché reaction that every TV studio newcomer ever has had: wow, it looks so much smaller than on TV! We’re directed to approach the contestant podiums, where we’re met by stage manager John Lauderdale, who explains how we’ll write our names and our Final Jeopardy wagers and answers, what cameras we’ll need to look at during the contestant introductions and Hometown Howdies, and other nuts-and-bolts details. Stephanie Fontaine, the returning champion from last week, graciously steps aside from her podium at the far right so that some of us can get a closer look. She’s helpful and very friendly.

Once we all have the lay of the land, all but three leave the stage, and the practice game begins. The questions are deliberately very easy; the point is to get used to the game board (which is thirty-six feet away, with each clue being displayed on a forty-inch television screen), the stage lights (they’re bright, but I never found them distracting, as a couple of folks did), and of course, the timing of the almighty buzzer. Players are cycled in and out as the game proceeds, with everyone getting two turns. I get pulled out of my first turn fairly quickly after winning the buzzer a few times in a row; it’s a nice confidence booster, but I don’t like being singled out again. While sitting on the sidelines we chit-chat and get to know each other; Laura tells me my teeth looked great on camera. I imagine several of us are also silently scoping out our potential opponents.

More than anything, I’m struck by how incredibly fun it is to play Jeopardy!, even when the clues are stupidly easy. By the time the practice game is over and we’re heading back to the green room, I’m grinning ear to ear. I look at Stephanie, and she says to me, “yeah, it’s fun, right?” Already, I cannot stand the thought that my Jeopardy! career will have to end at some point.

Once we’re back in the green room, Robert randomly draws the names of the two contestants who’ll compete against Stephanie in the first game of the day, to be aired on Monday, July 8. Christy and Kelly are up.

It’s an up-and-down match in which Stephanie ultimately prevails, making her a three-time champion who’s won a sizeable sum (over $50K). The rest of us watch from a dedicated section of the studio audience. We’re solemnly instructed not to even make eye contact with our family and friends just a few rows behind us, nor are we permitted to ask anything when Alex comes out during the commercial breaks and takes audience questions. It’s very important for the integrity of the show that the host (who received and read all the clues and responses this morning) and the contestants (who are supposed to have absolutely no knowledge of them) do not communicate at all except in the context of the game. So, as it turns out, every moment I spent talking to Alex Trebek will be seen by over ten million people on television.

We all go back into the green room, congratulating Stephanie when the contestants return. She disappears into the room labeled JEOPARDY! RETURNING CHAMPION and returns wearing a new outfit; I realize now that it’s a dressing room for the only person here who needs to change clothes at all.

Robert randomly picks the next two players. They are Jennifer and Prabhu.

Lisa touches up my makeup, and I use the restroom. Robert shows me the printed card for Alex one last time, which now has three bullets on it:

• Taught a class called “How to Talk to Aliens”
• Danced all night 6 times
• Works at YouTube

I am not really comfortable with the last bullet, especially because I thought I was explicitly prohibited from naming my employer on the air. But I’ve discussed this a couple times this morning with Robert, and he seems insistent on keeping this fact on the card, presumably because it’s perceived as cool and interesting. I remind myself again not to embarrass my employer if Alex decides to bring this up, and I confirm with Robert that he’ll flag the “aliens” story as the preferred one.

My head is buzzing again. I am going to play Jeopardy!, like, right now. Involuntarily, I begin to pace. Robert looks at me and says, “don’t get all serious on me now, Prabhu.”

Oh, I’m getting serious, all right. It’s game time.